yearning to venture beyond the horizons

ahem* i've something important to announce here. im going to clear up the cobwebs in this webbie. heez. =P

the previous week seemed to be my most life-changing period for the year. it's quite unbelievable that i went through quite a lot for the last few days. inspirations were gained, confidence was built, character became stronger, limits were pushed higher. in short, i discovered more about myself from two events that i almost thought i couldnt accomplish.probably i was belittling myself and thought myself to be a person of low self-esteem and cowardice.

28/03/2007 was my first attempt as the trainer for Spiritmakers' workshop. honestly, i never wanted to be the speaker as i believed it'llreduce the interaction with the students. being able to talk, play and connect with such young people have already been my priorities and passions. nevertheless i was more than grateful towards Spiritmakes for the opportunity. naturally, i was super duper stressed over it. it was as though i was sitting for my A levels. hahah. no sufficient rehearsals were enough to prepare myself for the actual day. it just took me by total surprise.

chaos greeted me after their form teacher left their classroom. the boys started to change places (obviously further away from me). loud chatters resounded in the room. vulgarites were exchanged from one end of the room to the other. i even tried the pleading method of 'please let's notwaste ur time and money attending this workshop', the bribing method of 'giving out the sweets and labling them the sweets of trust (i know it sounds duh... =P) and the fierce method of 'im a very nice person but i can be angry too yeah, so dun make me show the ugly side of me'.

but with invaluable advice from my bosses, i managed to finish the workshop with minimum damage. of course, i knew i didnt do a good enough job. but still, there were many lessons to be learnt and i can safely say it was a worthwhile workshop to start off with. the surveys i received from the students were not too bad. there's even one particular guy who mentioned the trainer was cute! haha.

i got to thank those who rallied around me and gave me their support. thanks to krystal and my family for sitting through my rehearsals. thanks to pig no. 1 & 3 for celebrating my success after the workshop. more imptly, thanks to my bosses for believing in me. (:

over the past weekend (31/03 & 01/04), i joined my brother on his YEP pre-expedition trip to pulau ubin. initially i thought i would feel left out as i wasnt even part of their YEP programme. well i did feel alien and at the same time 'extra' in the beginning. but after the activities kick off and self-introductions began, i felt more at ease and comfortable. the people were funky, respectable, fun-loving & really looked after one another real well. i felt i was being protected by lotsa Jies Jies and Ges Ges. the shabby and rundown environment threw my senses off guard as i was not mentally prepared to stay in such a place for the weekend. it was worse than i expected. fortunately i got used to the racking sounds of insects, shrieking meows through the night, thunderous droning pitter patters of the rain on the cold metallic roof, deep loud snores from Eric, countless insect bites... soon i became adapted to the ubin way of life - enjoying life's simple pleasures.

a week has passed and im still trying to squeeze every little bit of memory into this notepad. simply becuz im worried i may forget any bit of such cherishable memories.

short clips of memories during the ubin retreat still linger in my mind.
1) the winning Da-di streak i had with the experts - Rui Liang & Zi Xian (oh no! i forgot his name. heez. =X)
2) getting soak to the skin and muddy in the sudden downpour while trying to cycle with Zi Xian
3) trying to pass time by playing BINGO with Zi Xian and lost every single game
4) keeping myself entertained by the activities that the rest of the YEP members were doing
5) the cold, unclean water i used to bathe with 'uninvited guests'/ 'peeping toms' all around me
6) the more than satisfying & sumptuous meals cooked by the members themselves (i just got to ignore the fact that cobwebs&spiders were lining themselves above the almost unusable stove.)
7) the long hikes on the second day that stretches to 6 hours
8) the lame jokes that kept us alive
9) the april's fool jokes that Guan played on me along the way
10) the magic wand/walking stick/protector wand that went through countless obstacles but ended up being abandoned in the rubbish dump
11) watching how my team came up with various ingenious ideas to charm Rui Liang into giving them items for the Treasure Hunt
12) the cococut session when the team could walk no longer - much to my brother's exasperation
13) the performance round where our team came up with a skit of the thousand hands guan yin and one-in-a-million cheer about The One. it was darn hilarious. interestingly, we had to follow and act what the other team did for the performance too. so we had to do a pyramid formation with Zhi Qi and I stepping on the rest while singing the song 'Peng You'.
14) AND the finale was of cos admiring the stunning & spectacular sunset from the ubin jetty. what a beautiful ending to this unforgettable ubin retreat. (:

*these thoughts are complied for weeks up till 10th april.

i'll post the photos soon. i promise. (:

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